Why I Don't Hide My Tampon

Y'all may think I'm about to go off on some lengthy diatribe on women's rights and power to the pussy and blah, blah, blah. Nah. I'm going to keep this short and sweet.

Ladies, we've all experienced this (unless your bc has eradicated your monthly visitor—rad, girlfriend), particularly in school: It's that time of the month, you have to go to the bathroom and change your tampon, you've already put it off a couple hours too long actually. Not trying to get TSS here! But...how do you get your tampon to the bathroom with you?? I mean, you can't let anyone see it! That's social suicide, right?? This particular brand is too long to fit completely in your pocket, plus, you're going to the bathroom, everyone will see that telltale bulge in your jeans! Ok, ok, think. Ahhh yes, you're wearing long sleeves today. Boom, slip that sucker in your sleeve, pull sleeves over your hands as if you're cold and you're on your way!

I did that for so many years. About 11, to be exact. Then, two years ago, I realized, who fucking cares?! Yeah, I'm on my period. I'm also a young woman in my 20s who's not pregnant, soooo no shit, I get my period. And, no shit, I use a tampon (because pads are uncomfortable, cotton diapers and don't try to convince me otherwise). I'm a civilized woman who would prefer not to ruin every pair of underwear I wear during those three to five days. That first day pair is always an unfortunate casualty, what can ya do.

So you want to know why I don't hide my tampon? Because I'm an adult. I'm not ashamed of my natural bodily functions, in fact, I'm thrilled I live another month without an expensive, body-ruining parasite (jk, guys, I really do love kids). And if anyone is discomfited by the sight of a tampon, well, woof, that person has a whole set of their own issues. Grow up, people.

See? Short and sweet, just the way I like my Charleston Chews. 😉