Sweetbitter
Rating: 4.5/5
First time read
I'd been wanting to read this book since the first accolades about it came out. Then my mom read it and said it reminded her of me with it being set in the city and because I've worked in the service industry (though after reading, I'm a little concerned about her views of my work). So I finally borrowed it from a coworker. And, oh, how I've missed great writing (See, My Absolute Darling...).
As I said, I've worked in the restaurant business, and this was scarily accurate. From the camaraderie and the little drinking games to the cattiness, constant flirtations and after-hours, it was all true. There are those who are lifers and those who are doing it as a side hustle or until they get a "real job," but once you've done it, you're typically changed for life, as our protagonist was. (Side note: Opening a wine bottle for a table is fucking SCARY. I have no shame in admitting I would often ask one of my fellow servers to open it for me, while I discussed the intricacies of the variety, pretending it always took two people to present a bottle.) Danler used her own past experiences at New York's Union Square Cafe, Buvette, and Tía Pol as inspiration and it shows. People do take it so seriously and once you're out, you just think, god, why did I care so much??
Relatability aside, this book reminded me why I love to read. I'd had a rough ride with My Absolute Darling, but reading this book transported me to curling up on the couch in sweats, with a glass of wine or mug of tea, while it's gray and dreary out, and fully immersing myself into a good book. Even while reading this book standing on the PATH, squashed into six other people and regretting wearing my heeled booties, I felt removed to that ultimate comfort zone.
Danler transports you to a world of gritty glamour, sometimes making you uncomfortable, sometimes making you wish you worked as a server (yes, really). There's sex, there's drugs, there's wine and fancy cheese, all in New York in the early 2000s. There's no glossing over the bad, but Danler makes the good seem really good. It's enticing when seen through the innocent eyes of Tess, the narrator. Who, by the way, you won't find out her name until halfway through the book, which may seem weird, but I kind of liked it. It showed how Tess saw her worth through the surrounding characters. She didn't really own herself. (Plus, nicknames are a big thing in restaurants. I was "Arkansas" at my Jersey employment.) Even when her name was finally called, she didn't recognize it as her own, at first. Which seems crazy, but she detaches her past self from her present, back waiter self so cleanly, it's almost surgical. We never learn any more about her background than the brief snippets she gives to other characters, which is close to nothing. She's an enigma, to herself, and the readers.
Tess's lack of direction and starry-eyed view of people and things could be irritating and frustrating, sometimes I wanted to reach into the book and just shake some sense into her, but it was also somewhat freeing. You weren't reading wondering when she was going to get that "real job," because she never said what her ultimate hope was or why she thought New York was the city for her. She just wanted to get away from her old life and believed New York to be the best escape. This is how the restaurant became her whole life, encompassing everything, which is where she got into trouble. She put too much importance and intensity on terrible relationships with shitty people who have more life experience and, while they're not wiser per say, know so much more. They know the mistakes she's making and the track she's on, but most of them are still on the same track, a stunted growth, so even if they would've warned her, they couldn't. It's a dangerous place to mature, speaking from experience.
All in all, this is not a fluffy summer read as reviews may have had you believe. This is real. It can be depressing and chilling, and envy-inducing and alluring. That's what keeps you frantically flipping the pages. An abusive relationship seems oh so grown up and dark truths are secrets you want to discover when seen from very young eyes. As the reader, you have your suspicions and that's why you keep going. You want to be proved right. Meanwhile, you're drawn in further and further by Danler's talent. I can't wait for this book's details to start to fade into the fog of my memories, because then I can read it again.
